thefoosfamily 胡家: Help is here! part 2 (getting a helper)

My good friend Christina asked me, "you not afraid the kids will be close to the maid?" First of all, Mel and I prefered to use the word helper than maid. My answer is, yes, they will be close to the helper, as she will become a part of our family. I am not worry about that. But the kids will never ever be closer to the helper than to the both of us. We are very clear about this issue. Personally, we think many parents leave the task of raising the kids to the helpers.

When the kids have fun in the park or playground, who is there with them? Helper. When they whine and cry, what do parents do? They half expectingly wait for the helper to bring the kids aside so that both the parents and kids can cool off. which to me, is the worst thing to do. So in good and bad times, the helper is with the kids. They go to school together, play together, they bath the kids, sayang them when the parents scold them, talk to them about anything under the sun, cook for them their fav food, make their hairdo, etc.... And the parents wondered "why my kids not close to me?" It is not the helper's fault but we have forgotten the reason we hried a helper for.

I dun think, any parents want the kids to be closer to the helper than themselves. Most got lazy, find it hard to deal with their kid's character issues, let their work and career take out more time than it should. This is especially true for fathers. They are the most adsent firgure in most family outings. You seldom see fathers bringing their kids out by himself, but you will see lots of mother doing that, or worst still, helper. I am not refering to non working mums bringing the kids out on working hours. I talking about weekdays night and the weekends. Where are the fathers?

In the last posting, part 1, I stated the 3 main reasons for us hired a helper. I am not going to compromise with my time with the kids. I will still cycle them to school and back home daily. I will bring them to the playground how ever tired I am. I will read the bible and pray with them. I will discipline them myself and never let them go crying to the arms of the helper. When they cry I want to be there to feel their pain. When they laugh, I will be the one laughing the loudest and when they sleep, I will be the one carrying them (but seriously they are getting heavy for the both of us...), protecting them from all dangers.

I know I do sound very self rightous, I am saying this so that people can hold me accountable if I fail to be a good father to my kids. We love them more than our very lives.

So will they be close to my helper? yes. Will they be closer to my helper than us? Never! They are our kids, not the helper's.